What is this? A name that haunts me like a secret whisper and lingers like the sting of a poisoned arrow. It was a part of me but I never knew it. It saw the stains of my youth and the dreams of my future.
You see me as only one thing – a two dimensional shape, cleft under the dust of stubborn ignorance. But you are wrong. You are mistaken. You have misinterpreted your judgement. I am a multifaceted, multisided, multifunctional, universally acclaimed shape. I shape my mind and I shape your vision. I am too strong for you. You will not understand.
Life seems stale to me. Stale as the driest cracker left at the back of the driest cupboard in the driest house down the driest road.
Your pixie laugh kept me entertained for hours. With my purple trousers and my top with flowers. My hair falls with green ringlets and corn-flour blue settles beneath my eyes. Ah! A tale of woe is me – a struggling flute to be heard amongst the marching band. I breathe and I scream and I breathe and I scream and this goes on for days and days but nobody hears me nobody sees me. Until I’m blue in the face. And then the moronic enquiry “You alright?” The truth is, I really am alright. I really am, ‘alright’. I tell people what I want to tell them. I leave unannounced the ubiquitous mysteries in my mind. And it harms them not.
The treasures of my heart are still unlocked. The key has yet to be moulded. What aching wonders it still harbours. What ambiguous questions it still asks. The water descends upon my head and rushes over my eyes and down my face. It is wetting the crevices in the corners of my mouth. The flames are extinguished beneath the heels of my feet.
You speak of my daffodil smile and my bluebell eyes, but it is the roses hidden beneath my breast that will charm your heart and steal your heart.
My presence was sometimes heavy. As the poisoned arrow dragged me down into the gutter of its chained misery. But now I am free. I am the embodiment of my own happiness and not a slave to my previous desires. I am no longer bartering for your attention. I am no longer pushing the door that reads ‘pull’. I am indifferent to what was and what used to be. I knew the real you and I know the real me. Don’t tease me with your corruption or tempt me with your lies. I see through you with my heart and I repel you with my eyes.